I can:
1. Use hand tools!
2. Use power tools!
3. Select appropriate building materials!
4. Comprehend many different methods of fastening things together!
5. Keep up to date on the most appropriate finishing techniques!
6. Take care of my home's plumbing and wiring issues!
7. Finish walls and lay many types of flooring!
8. Add windows and doors - wherever I want them! (Door in the ceiling? I can do that now!)
9. All of the exterior repairs and yardwork projects that any mid-century homeowner could desire!
10. Design my own household furniture and storage pieces!
11. I can now even care for my automobile and bicycle!
So, if you need something done, give me a ringy-dingy (as Lily Tomlin would say in character as Ernestine) and I'll grab my handyman book, my tool box, and be on my way over to really making a mess of things!
Oh, how I wish there was a good way to put sarcasm into written form. It is a pretty neat book even with my poking fun at it.
Come on over to my Ranch house, because I need your handyman skills! =D
ReplyDeleteFunny post! Love the video clips too! Lily has got to be the best!
ReplyDeleteJim
At the ripe old age of 9 I picked up about 20 Popular Mechanics books at a garage sale it showed you how to make everything from bird houses, to boat houses, refinishing your basment to creating brick grill's and cement Tiki Gods for the back yard!...and amazingly I'v done NONE of these hahaha
ReplyDeleteI used to have a copy of that book. It is a kinda neat book. Just lately I picked up a book on "How to Build Your Own Home for $5000" It's got seven different floor plans and goes thru every single step. Love reading the old techniques.
ReplyDeleteAh, Ernestine and Ma Bell...those were the days! Haven't seen these routines in decades. Made me laugh until I had tears in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteMany, many thanks for posting these classics - and many thanks for a great blog of mid-century classics!